Neither the “giver” nor the “taker” type of interlocutor is inherently bad. This classification helps you become a more informed speaker and a thoughtful listener. No matter which type you belong to, you have a lot to learn from the other side. Both can be wrong. “The giver” makes the mistake of thinking that asking questions is generosity and doesn’t take into account that it can bore the other person. The “taker” mistakenly thinks that his statements are always interesting.
In different situations, each type can elicit different reactions. For example, if you want to be the centre of attention, the “taker” will annoy you. But when you want to stay in the shadows, you will appreciate his contribution to the conversation.
Both “givers” and “takers” should learn to recognize the kind of “points of opportunity” in dialogue that help keep the conversation engaging. If you’re a “taker,” ask the person you’re talking to questions that they’ll want to answer. This will make the conversation unpredictable and exciting, and you’ll learn more about what the other person is thinking and feeling.
If you are a “giver”, stop asking questions and take on the role of a “taker” by responding to the other person’s remarks. This way you will reduce the pressure on yourself and will not drag the whole dialogue on yourself.
Also, being a “giver” who starts to “take” more in the conversation is a good way to test the relationship for strength. If a loved one is constantly talking only about themselves, do the same. You’ll instantly realise how much he or she is interested in and values you. If the “taker” ignores any attempts to transfer the conversation from his side to yours, it’s time to end all conversations and start communicating with someone else.
