What affects the severity of a breakup
Hormones
Romantic love is primarily a hormonal cocktail of oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin. They act in different ways and are released as a response to different events, but they all make us feel happy and fulfilled.
A breakup lowers the levels of these hormones. And there are roughly the same mechanisms at work here as in drug addiction. We don’t get enough of the usual dose, and it makes us feel bad.
And then we see an ex-partner and get a new portion. Then we suffer. That is, we go in a vicious circle of addiction, without making it easier for ourselves. Though on the way to sobriety, if we talk about substances, we should completely exclude them from our life.
Another thing is that it’s not so simple with hormones. We can get them from other sources as well. Like exercising, eating chocolate, or trying something new. But seeing an ex-lover turns out to be the easiest source of a hormonal explosion. And we tend to simplify. If something comes easy to us, it’s hard to motivate ourselves to dig in another direction. On the contrary, we want to push the usual pedal and get a new dose. And this doesn’t help you forget, on the contrary, it can turn a fading feeling into an obsession.
The power of positive memories
Relationships are rarely cloudless and usually don’t work out for whatever reason. Even if everything seemed to be going well and then the partner announced a breakup, it’s easy to remember what was bad about the person and the interaction with them. This is generally helpful because it allows you to look at the situation objectively. And this is exactly when not being positive is important. Realising that not everything was perfect eases the pain and helps you move on.
But our psyche is capable of pulling all sorts of tricks. For example, we feel the emotions of good memories much more vividly than bad ones. That is, you can sit in a corner for a long time and string beads of negativity. And then meet a beautiful ex and nullify all efforts.
And therefore it is more reliable ex-partners in this corner of his corner not to let – neither in physical embodiment, nor in the form of photos and messages.
Psychological state
Researchers found that people who stayed in contact with exes on social networks, experienced more pronounced anxiety and a tendency to depression.
