Everyone can find themselves in this situation. You are attracted to a person, you want to spend more and more time with him or her and you start to fall in love, but you don’t understand what he or she feels.
Sometimes a man gives mixed signals: today – flirting and smiles, tomorrow – indifference. And sometimes you can not fully understand whether his or her reactions are a manifestation of love. No wonder that in such circumstances it is scary to show initiative. However, this is not the only reason that can prevent you from being the first to confess your feelings.
Why we are afraid to make the first move
People who express rather than silence any of their emotions and experiences are admired. That’s because it takes not only courage, but also unwavering self-confidence. The same goes for romantic confessions.
We can be afraid that we will be rejected, we will be laughed at, our feelings will be treated carelessly, and it hurts. If it doesn’t work out, how will I cope with it later? So sometimes we choose to just give up on an experience if there is a risk that it will be negative.
This fear doesn’t make no sense at all. According to one small study, when we are rejected, the same areas in our brain are activated as when we experience physical pain. You could say that we avoid rejection by following the same sense of self-preservation that prevents us from grabbing a red-hot frying pan with our bare hands.
However, when it comes to relationships, that doesn’t mean you have to give in to fear. If you want to challenge and defeat it to finally make that very first move, try starting with a few simple techniques.
How to act when you’re unsure of the other person’s feelings
If the person is giving you mixed signals
Unfortunately, this isn’t the most encouraging sign. When a person likes you, they will try to take your relationship to the next level, even if things happen slowly. For example, he will first meet and chat with you, then ask for your phone number, then write to you, and so on.
If a person is interested in you, the graph of your relationship will smoothly go up, and not resemble a broken line of ups and downs in the style of “yesterday they smiled at me, and today they didn’t even say hello to me”.
It looks like a very insecure thing, but everyone decides for themselves whether this kind of interaction suits them. All these double messages, when there is confusion about what a person says and what they mean. As in the domestic example when a mum asks a child, “You tell the truth, I will never scold you for it.” The child speaks – and is scolded.
Man does not have the gift of reading minds, and this is the point where you can clarify information. For example: “I’ve noticed that sometimes you act like I’m not there. That said, there are times when we communicate very well. When I start to feel indifferent, I get a little lost, because I would like to communicate with you. Perhaps we could discuss this?”
