It’s safe to assume that other interactions don’t act very favourably either. Because it’s like peeling the crust off a healing wound. It may not be fatal, but it’s dragging it out. You can get an infection, though.
What’s more, interacting with your ex gets in the way of building a new relationship. Studies, for example, have shown that communication with a past lover reduces satisfaction with the current relationship and makes you think of the previous one in a rosier light.
Uncertainty about the future
People, especially anxious people, perceive the familiar as safe. And most of us seek security in one way or another, it’s a nice feeling. That said, it doesn’t really matter how much the familiar actually pleases us. What matters is that it is perceived as better than the frightening unknown.
Breaking up is always stressful because of the fact that life changes. Just yesterday a person had a rough plan for his life, he had common habits with someone, common goals. But today everything has to be rearranged, and it is not clear what lies ahead.
Therefore, the former partner is perceived as a safe harbour, where it is so quiet. But to go further will not work if you do not let the wind fill the sails and do not go to the open sea.
How to act after a breakup to make it easier
Literally use the formula “out of sight – out of heart”. Do not meet if there is no need (real, not for far-fetched reasons). Unsubscribe from social media and don’t snoop on your ex from fake accounts. Not revisiting photos. Not going to nostalgic places.
It doesn’t mean it’s going to get better right away. But it will get better faster than if you don’t.
